I Left Long Before I Left
2024:We decided to move back to Michigan. After six years down south, we were coming home. Rent was climbing higher and higher, and my dad had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s. On paper, it made sense. I had a plan: move back, make sure my dad was settled and safe, then take the kids and leave…
What I thought was the Beginning.
By 2023, I had fully given up on my relationship.Even though we were still married, I no longer wanted to be around him. I let him use my body at night, then I would turn over and go to sleep. That was it. That was all I had left to give. I stopped trying to…
I Was Starving for Validation
So now that I’ve thrown out damn near all of my dirty laundry, I’ll summarize the next few years. Between my last baby and now, so many things happened. I stepped out a few more times — sometimes physically, sometimes emotionally. Years later I found out he did too. I guess when I was asking…
Trying to Fix What Was Already Broken
Annalise was born in August. After 22 hours of pushing, my beautiful 9 lb 1 oz baby girl arrived—and she was turning purple. Doctors had to keep her for over a month. Her lungs were underdeveloped, her sugar was low, but she was fighting. Cole and I visited her daily. At some point before she…
Pregnancy, Promises, and the Beginning of the End
Cole and I found out we were expecting during the back-and-forth of me wanting to leave and us trying to fix something that was already broken. I took a test and the line was faint—so faint. I was excited but nervous. What if it wasn’t his? The timeline was just right for that one time…
The Day I Stopped Believing in Loyalty
For a moment, things were peaceful. I stopped looking for proof. I stopped expecting the worst.I let myself believe we were healing. And that’s when everything fell apart. I didn’t even mean it the first time I flirted with someone else. He was a guy close to my family growing up—familiar, kind, attentive. That was…
The Friend I needed
I started going to school for my GED and to become a dental hygienist. I met a group of amazing girls and even found my best friend—Betty. She was my age and had just escaped a deeply toxic relationship, so naturally, we gravitated toward each other. I clung to her. I vented to her. We…
Full Arms, Empty Hands
At eighteen, I thought I was happy. I didn’t need to go out every night. I was content being quiet, being home, having just my husband and his family. My days were full in the most invisible way—cooking, cleaning, babysitting his little sisters and nephews. Sometimes I made dinner, even though cooking non-vegan food was…
Marriage, But Make It a Cage
I lived with my dad for about two months—or honestly, maybe a week—before I decided to move in with my cousin Yolanda. My dad worked a lot, and after being homeschooled for so long, I needed structure. I needed school. According to all of my homeschool records, I was ready to graduate that year. All…
